Funny Christmas Greeting Quotes

Funny Christmas quotes

  • What does Santa call his little helpers?
    Subordinate clauses!
  • Some businessmen are saying that this could be the greatest Christmas ever.
    I always thought the first one was.
  • The only present you can gift Jesus during his birthday is good behavior. you can try to be good today then go back to normal after Christmas.
  • Since I brought the presents, I’ve asked Santa to bring you love and happiness.
  • Its not funny i said no rocks in the snowballs..
  • Merry Christmas and a happy New Year,
    With all the best of food and beer!
  • Christmas has been cancelled! And it’s your fault because I told Santa you had been good and he died laughing!
  • Girls express their talent by tears. Boys express their talent by beers. Merry Christmas
  • May Santa always stop at your house. Merry Christmas!
  • The best present that you could ever hope for is spending time together with your special someone.
  • Do not expect Santa They all are Drunk and flat Merry Christmas without gifts
  • I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves . so that he can have a faster production of gifts.
  • Dear Santa this year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body and this year don’t mix the two up
  • This Christmas let’s try to keep things in their proper perspective. After all, credit cards do have their limits.
  • I’m hoping for a magical Christmas this year. I’m hoping all my relatives will magically disappear.
  • The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
  • Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
  • There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus
  • Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
  • At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.
  • Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
  • Santa wont be coming this year… He died laughing when you said you been a good girl. Have a Merry Christmas
  • If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?
  • Dear Santa, I’m writing to let you know that I’ve been naughty… and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
  • KISSING at the top,HOLDING at the middle &FIRE at the bottom! Do you know the ANSWAR? WHAT? ho…don’t think dirty… its A ”CIGRETTE”
  • This time of year brings to mind those things in life that are most important. It reminds us to focus on all the good things around us. Wishing warm greetings for you and your family during this holiday.
  • “Being apart during the holidays is no fun, but it just means we’ll have more to share and talk about when we go on our girls trip this spring!”
  • Sending love and plenty of Christmas cheer to you and your beautiful family. Happy holidays to all of you.
  • May your Christmas sparkle and shine. Celebrate this holiday like a child. Have a great Christmas.
  • “Christmas won’t feel the same without you here, but we wish you a wonderful holiday time with Emma’s family. Miss you already!”

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